Jul 21, 2020
My memoir Mercy says everything about this experience:
Old Mette would be horrified, I think, to see what has become of her body. I sometimes have these existential moments of disassociation where I’m walking down the road and think—wait, how did I get here? Who am I? This isn’t the person I was supposed to grow up to be. Old Mette would vociferously point to a completely different future self as definitive. She would never have become new Mette. She would be distressed to be me, far more than I am distressed to have been her (though I am finding I apologize a lot to people who knew me back then).